


Strangled by the Red String

by linkzeldi



Category: Tokyo Ghoul, ノラガミ | Noragami
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linkzeldi/pseuds/linkzeldi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A noragami AU.<br/>Kaneki Ken is a unfortunate college student, often ensnared into trouble by his own misguided good deeds. In his life he goes mostly unnoticed by others, except for the title "God of Calamity" which his peers gave him after witnessing the trouble he got into for himself over, and over again. Because of this, Kaneki tries to live a life of a quiet bookworm, and literature student with no particular high aspirations beyond avoiding misfortune. </p><p>However, his life changes when he meets a literal God of Calamity in the form of "Eto" a stranger spirit like being only able to be seen by him, who claims to be a god. The mere encounter with her destroys the comfortable shell around Kaneki's life, as he's turned from a human, to a half ayakashi who falls out of his body like a human shell at random intervals. Demanding a cure for his condition he follows Eto in her world of gods and demons, but in all of the trouble Eto has dragged him through, Kaneki finds himself reluctant to go back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unbreakable Ties

A flick of the scissors.

If Kaneki had the ability to cut through strings of fate rather rather than the green strands in front of him, maybe he could find a way out of this situation he was in. 

Things were never going to be that easy for Kaneki though, he acknowledged this with a drooping of the antannae that sprouted from his head whenever his body reached this state. He was a person who had been strangled by the strings of fate more or less, from the day of his birth. 

His luck was so terrible, classmates used to call him a god of calamity. That was all well and good until he met an actual god of calamity. 

That day started out so well too. At his favorite cafe, he had a long conversation with a cute girl about Takatsuki Sen’s latest novel, the Black Goat’s Egg. The conversation had inspired him to go to the bookstore and buy a few more novels so perhaps next time he encountered the girl he would be able to strike up a new, even longer conversation. He might even be so bold to ask her on a date. The red string of fate, taking the form of the lines of text and blood stained verses of Takatsuki’s works bringing the two of them together, Kaneki could not even think of a more romantic dream. He walked along the sidewalk, a bag of freshly bought books in his hand, eyes in a rose tinted haze. 

It was precisely because he dared to walk so deliriously happy that day, that he did not see something critical until the very last minute. Across the same street he walked, a small child in a purple hoodie whose hood was accented with cat ears, chased a cat with a similiar pair of ears. 

“Maris Stella!” She called out. Though he was quite loud and unsubtle in her search, none of the crowd seemed to notice her and all walked by her unfazed. “Maris Stella!” She cried again, a comic sort of desperation sneaking into her voice. “Jeez this is what I get for accepting a job from that floppy half wit,” the child muttered to herself, her voice darkening to something distinctly unchild like. Then, she spotted Maris Stella across the street, next to a nondescript boy holding a bag of books. 

That boy was of course Kaneki, but to the child he was nothing more than a minor character in a novel, one of those characters of average looks who would sit in the far back of the class so the author would barely have to put effort in describing them, and maybe say hi to the main character once before disappearing into the background entirely. The child was not really somebody who had any consideration at all for the faceless masses. 

Which made what happened next all the more surprising to her. When she ran out into the middle street to chase after the cat, she only had eyes for Maris Stella. Meanwhile at that exact same moment, Kaneki who had been swooning happily, reading while he walked, looked up from his page for one moment to see a truck barreling down the road. He went back to his book, but his rose tinted glasses were shattered entirely when he saw that in the truck’s path, a small child in a hoodie stood looking completely oblivious as to what was about to happen. 

There was a reason, Kaneki had such misfortune. It had nothing to do with the strings of fate, or rather if it did, Kaneki was the one who deliberately chose to hang himself by them. Because his life motto was “it’s better to be hurt yourself, than cause trouble to others” Kaneki again and again, with little self awareness constantly invited trouble on himself while trying to help others. Because he always blamed his misfortunes on bad luck, he inevitably found himself repeating the same mistake over and over again. Except this time it seemed, would be the last. 

Kaneki dropped his bag on the ground. His body moved on it’s own. The girl felt herself tackled by some minor character. 

How rude. 

She thought as a truck that was inches away from hitting her drove itself into the boy’s body instead, and he was flung like a ragdoll his body landed twisted on the opposite side of the road. He should have been racked with pain. His mind was clear though, despite initial haziness. He looked down at the blurry image of the gurl he had tackled out of the way, and now loomed over with his body. “Ban...dages.” He observed, then, his boy scout attitude came back to him all at once. 

“Even if you’re a kid you should know better than being so irresponsible,” he lectured. 

She looked up at him from underneath her hood and the first thing Kaneki noticed about her were her eyes, full and green, rather than grateful she seemed puzzled. “Kid? That’s presumptuous coming from a child who's lost something as well,” though it was high pitched a mature voice came from her hood, along with a tight lipped smile. Being able to only see her smile and eyes like that, it reminded him of the cheshire cat he had read about for some reason. Still he followed where her gaze led him, and looked back to see his own body lying in front of where the truck had stopped hunched over. He jumped off of her and shock and ran to his body. 

Nobody seemed to notice, not even the truck driver who looked at the dent in the front of his truck with confusion. This did not seem odd to wallflower Kaneki Ken, it was completely in line with his usual luck. The oddity was when the strange girl he had saved, pulled her hood down and revealed a large amount of green hair underneath that he had no idea how she kept it all under that hood, and now that he was drawn to look closer to her, a body with the curvature of a fully grown woman. 

N-not that he noticed her curves or anything. In fact the first thing that came to mind was, “Hey, if you’re a fully grown adult what were you doing standing in the middle of the street spacing out. What are you some kind of airhead?” 

“Ho, you’re still around?” She said, her attention snapping back to him, as she craned her neck back like some creepy kind of bird. “You know, you’re really mouthy for a dead person.” 

Kaneki fell to his knees. “No way, am I really going to die here without ever having been happy once. I don’t want my last thoughts to be ‘ah, if you were to make a story of my life, it would definitely be a tragedy.” 

The girl slapped his shoulder like a clumsy attempt at human contact, “Oh, cheer up, you’re starting to sound like one of Osamu Dazai’s narrations.” 

He only sunk further, “What does it matter now, I’m dead?” 

“That’s true, you seem like a hopeless case, but you know-” She stepped forward past him and moved to his body, taking the last few steps on her knees as she crawled on top of it, and then gripped at his cheeks, even disconnected from his body as he was he could still feel the ghost touch on his own cheeks, “As long as you have strength, you should fight.” 

Then she leaned in towards his face slow- 

A kiss to resuscitate me? Kaneki thought. 

And licked his eyeball. 

Kaneki woke up screaming in his hospital bedroom. “That’s how you get pinkeye!” He really was, responsible to a fault. He sat up and immediately and felt at his own eyeball to check it’s condition. It felt normal, that was a plus, he guessed. Before he could come to grips with his situation though, he was struck with a terrible pain behind the same left eye. 

“I’m so weak.’ 

“Please, just let me die.” 

“I don’t want to die.” 

Voices rushed into his head at once, and even worse they started to argue with one another. He leaned forward, the day feeling horrifying enough, gripping his own face trying to search his memories and come to grips with what happened, when he spotted out of the corner of his eye a reflection he did not recognize. In a mirror on the bedside table, he saw a young face stare back at him with pure white hair. It took him a moment to realize it was his own. 

“What an idiot!” The voices all seemed to unite to say. 

All of this, just because he tried to save a random stranger. 

“Ohohoho!” The sound of laughter rang out. Kaneki realized it came from right next to him, from a green haired woman who was paging through one of the books he had bought, “What a terrible twist of fate. I can’t wait to see what happens next.” 

Kaneki stumbled backwards out of his own bed. He felt his back curve, and he instinctively hissed at her like an animal as he landed on all fours. The girl kept her calm though, sharply closing the book with her extended palm. “So you regenerate quickly then, huh.” 

“The woman from earlier,” Kaneki said calming down in an instant and leaning up to look at her. 

“Thanks for that, by the way. I mean it was completely useless since a truck wouldn’tve hurt me anyway, but I’ve never been saved by a human before, even a foolishly misguided one.” 

“Who are you anyway?” Kaneki said, slowly in case this girl who had clearly stalked him all the way to the hospital wanted to try something. 

She turned to him and smiled, with a smile like that, it was no wonder he had mistaken her for a child the first time he saw her. “That’s easy, I’m a god.” 

Kaneki had reached his limit and dove for the phone. “Hello police! There’s an intruder in my hospital room. I think she might be following me.” 

“Wait hold on!” The condescending composure she held just a moment ago dissolved completely and she rushed towards the couch to try to grab the phone from him. “I’m the god Eto.” 

Kaneki snapped the phone away, and stood up using his height to keep it away from her. Eto, if that was her name, may have been able to reportedly survive getting hit by a truck but he had several centimeters on her and all she could do was helplessly jump to try to reach the phone. “Eto? I’ve never heard of a god named that once in my whole life.” 

“Heh,” Eto tried to look like the remark had not affected her, but the way she stumbled backwards and coughed a moment ago made that hard to hide, “Well you could say I’m an up and comer. But just wait, before much longer the whole world will know my name. Etogami! That means a god whose destined to be loved by all.” She flipped her own hair, and fanned herself with her hand, posing like that and basking in the glory of her imaginary spotlight. When she got too lost in her fantasies and started laughing madly to herself, Kaneki felt more worried than before. 

“Anyway, the voices are getting loud tonight, endless prattling gives me a headache so I’m going to skeedaddle. It’s not like I can do anything about it right now anyway, without a regalia,’ Eto said, continuing her conversation with herself, before she noticed Kaneki sweating again and decided she was getting quite fond of that sight, “You, boy, what’s your name then?” 

“I’m Kaneki Ken,” he found himself answering seriously to his own surprise. 

“Kaneki Ken, huh?” She mirrored back at him, a smile creeping across her lips. 

Before she could follow through on whatever the smile promised for him though, she turned around to leave. “Well I only came to check if you were still alive, so consider my debt repaid.” She picked up one of his books -was she really going to steal it- and swayed her hips with a step. 

“Wait!” Kaneki called out, but in a much smaller voice he said, “Did anybody besides you come to visit me?” 

Eto did not answer. Maybe because she understood that he really did not want to hear the answer. He saw the odd way her head seemed to swivel back at him like an owl’s though, and saw one eye in particular, with the rest of her face hidden under her messy hair gleam at him. “On second thought, considering I was never in any danger and I saved you after you foolishly jumped in front of a bus, don’t you think you’re the one who owes me. How about this, agree to be my servant in this life and the next and I’ll consider us even.” 

“What kind of logic is that!” Kaneki snapped at her. 

“Hey, don’t sound so reluctant. Besides, you need me anyway. Who else is going to fix that?” 

“Fix what?” 

Eto pointed down. 

Unbeknownst to Kaneki untit now, his every movement had been accepted by the swaying of a centipede thorax that had sprouted from his back, or perhaps a centipede tail? “What am I? A living breathing Franz Kafka story!” 

That was how, he became something known as a half Ayakashi and found himself blackmailed and recruited into the ranks of the goddess Eto. A homeless and wandering orphan of a god, who had no shrine to speak of, nor worshippers, nor any money. 

When she recruited him into her ranks, he expected her to have followers, or at least servants, but it was just the two of them. At first anyway. To Kaneki’s great relief after following Eto in their now shared homelessness, watching her steal money he made from his part time jobs to buy books, and stopping her from stealing or harming others in order to get by. Kaneki occasionally checked his phone to see if the Aunt he left behind would even notice he was gone, and every time Eto noticed him doing so with her sharp eyes her behavior seemed even more erratic. 

“Kaneki! Kaneki! I know I was late for our job, but it’s the five second rule right? I’m still safe right?” 

“No, you’re out entirely.” 

What a trash filled life he had started to live, really! Sometimes even accented by the fact that he had to fall asleep in literal trash. He was not a brooding main character in a novel, his life did not need to be so cruel and exact a metaphor like this. 

After weeks of Eto not being able to cure his condition despite her claims, and the two of them being chased by monsters called ‘Ayakashi’ which they could not fight back against because Eto refused to get a ‘regalia’ (both terms which sounded completely made up to Kaneki) he decided to take matters into his own hands. 

“Are you sure you’re a god?” He asked her one day out of the blue when the two of them were raking leaves in a park. 

“Of course I’m a god, are you not in awe of my magnificence?” Eto said, posing grandly, or as grandly as she could while holding a rake. 

“You’re weating a sweatshirt and a weird bib around your neck. That isn’t really an awe inspiring outfit.” 

“Bandages! They’re bandages!” she corrected, and then he could see her eyes scanning him for a weakpoint, but instead of striking she clicked her teeth and looked away, “Tch, you shouldn’t really judge people for the clothing they wear. My dear lost Kaneki, it seems your parents failed in raising you.” She chewed on her lip for a moment, “It’s not a bib, these are fluffy fluff bandages.” 

“Fluffy fluff bandages?” Kaneki mirrored back at her deadpan. 

Even though they were talking quite loudly, nobody seemed to notice the scene they were causing in the park. “Are gods and ayakashi really that different though? You both can’t be seen by most humans.” 

“Well I’m actually from the far shore for one, I’m a god of revolution that wasn’t born from a human father. Between us, Kaneki Ken you would have more common with an ayakashi than me.” 

Kaneki looked down for a second, and saw the centipede tail that had spun around his own legs unconsciously. “Not again! I didn’t even notice this time!” he said as he looked to his human body, sleeping away with a peaceful expression on his face he was jealous of. 

“Haha! A phantom who can’t even control his power at all,” Eto mocked. 

“I would be able to if you would just fix me already.” 

Eto jumped back onto the railing that bordered the pathway to a nearby lake, crossing her legs as she did so. Her expression darkened as she did so, “In all seriousness though, Ayakashi are beings that drift around aimlessly feeding on the worries of lost souls like you. As long as you’re in that form, a person like you who wears all his worries on his sleeve is like a tasty banana to them.” 

“Banana?” 

“Or like a potato in a hotpot.” 

“Can we stop comparing me to food.” 

“In this world the weak are devoured by the strong, so you really should learn to control that power of yours already.” 

“Don’t lecture me about that,” Kaneki protested stomping his foot weakly, even if his hair had changed to white and grown a bit shaggier these days, he still had the same build and stature from when he was a skinny college age student who wore frumpy sweatshirts and stayed inside reading all day. “When are you going to get to my request already?” 

“I told you I’ll get to it when I get to it!” She said, waving him off like a child. 

“That’s what you said last week, I’m tired of waiting.” 

“Last week huh?” She said, hand scratching the side of her cheek, she flexed her fingers one by one, “Then here’s a proposition then, call me Lady Eto!” She hummed the last two words, “It’ll show some respect, do that for an entire week and I’ll consider starting your job. I mean seriously, who calls a god by her first name anyway.” 

“I could call you something else,” Kaneki muttered low. 

“Fine,” Eto said, pouting again, “The truth is I’m not at one hundred percent right now. I can’t take on a big job without a regalia.” 

“What is a regalia? You keep using that word.” 

“Regalias are tools for gods. WHen I have a regalia I can cut down anything,” She jumped down from where she was sitting and looked back, with eyes like that maybe her words were not exactly a boast. 

“So that’s why you’re such a useless person without one, you’re lonely.” Kaneki said, connecting the dots together. 

“Don’t you pity me, Kaneki Ken!” She snapped at him again, and fell into another pout. 

Kaneki got the sense that, the real reason that Eto still had no chosen a regalia was not lack of skill but rather pickiness. Most human beings who saw her forgot about her a few seconds afterwards anyway, she did not register in their memories at all. Kaneki being the lone exception of course because half of his existence he spent as a strange bug boy phantom. Even amongst other spirits they saw though, Eto took the same dismissive attitude that she did with humans. She would give them one pensieve glance, then continue to walk. 

No matter how much Kaneki begged her to settle and find a regalia so their strange coexistence could end, Eto only seemed to be interested in people who were of potential use to her. 

Which is what made it so strange to Kaneki when she picked a spirit finally one day out of the blue. When they were in their usual act of Kaneki carrying Eto away from Ayakashi bridal style, when she refused to go back on her pride and flee from them. He stumbled over a rock though because of his characteristic bad luck and took a tumble dropping her in the process. 

When Kaneki pulled himself up to his knees, he watched in awe as Eto suddenly seemed to get serious, pointing off to a light in the distance. “Spirit you are lost and adrift. You have nowhere to go and nowhere to return to. Thus I grant you a place to belong! My name is Eto, bearing two names you shall remain here, with these names I make thee my servant. WIth these name I use my life to make thee a regalia fit to be wielded by a god. Thou art Hide! As regalia, Hideyoshi! Come, Hideyoshi!” 

The light traveled to Eto’s hands, and then settled into a sword whose hilt was covered in bandages. “A sword? How Cliche.” Eto said, almost bored sounding at the form this miracle had taken, but she killed the monster that was after them in one stroke anyway. 

Kaneki on his knees understood exactly why. Even though Eto always acted bright and cheerful, he still feared her a little bit. Because at any moment she could become that. 

When Eto released it, the sword took the shape of a human body in winter clothing with golden hair. “Yo!” he said, a greeting way too friendly and familiar for the situation they were in. Then he looked over both Kaneki and Eto, “Whoa, way to make a guy feel like a third wheel right off the bat.” 

Eto fell backwards on the ground, despondent for a moment. Lifting her hand in front of her face to block out the distracting glow of the moon. “That’s so-” She muttered to herself, but when Kaneki had already been at her side to check on her, she snapped upwards and smiled back at him. 

Like he said, Eto could become completely different at a moment’s notice. Because Kaneki swore he saw her crying a moment ago. 

Even with a regalia though, Eto still could not cure Kaneki. The duo became a trio though, and it became a lot more tolerable because it seemed in Eto’s pickiness for regalias she had chosen one capable of matching her shrewd cleverness, and ability to hide everything behind a smile. 

While the two of them seemed to compete for his attention, Kaneki prioritized finding a house next on the list of things to do to rescue Eto’s life from the trash heap. Even if he was not a regalia he had already mentally accepted the job of Eto’s number one servant. Unlike the two of them, he could also spend half of his time walking in the human world, as long as he was careful never to lose his body. 

He found out that the cafe he used to frequently as a normal person before disaster struck him in the form of Eto, was actually owned by another much more minor god, and staffed by his various regalias. They took care of stray regalias and gods known as ‘noras’ or ‘noragami’ but no matter how much Kaneki asked Eto to accept their help he could never persuade her. 

Her stubborn pride, it caused Kaneki to scowl in the mirror and nearly cut off too much. 

They eventually found a refuge though, when they stumbled upon Eto’s apparent guardian. Who had wandered away from her, causing her to go looking for him, starting this entire incident in the first place. 

His name was Noro, which was dangerously close to Noroi which meant curse. Apparently he was a god of poverty, but Kaneki suspected from the fact that he had a mask that he never took off, never spoke, and stalked everywhere in a large black trench coat that he was another ayakashi Eto roped into her services. Being raised by an evil spirit would explain a lot of Eto’s issues, anyway. 

Noro had a home though in the 16th ward of Tokyo, which meant for the first time after following Eto for months, he had a warm bed to sleep in multiple nights in a row. That was the nights he could sleep, when Hide didn’t try to keep him up playing video games, or he couldn’t feel Noro watching him in his sleep or Eto didn’t accidentally fall into his bed. 

The latter of which is what woke him up this morning. Eto held a panda faced pillow roughly the size of her torso, and hugged it close. “Kaneko-san thou art my…” Eto started to drool a little bit onto the pillow, “Lovely goddess!” She shouted in her sleep, before falling back into a peaceful one. 

Now thoroughly woken though, Kaneki crawled out to give Eto room. He took two steps outside of the candy store that Noro ran, only to see the sky open up above him, and a letter flutter down into his outstretched hand. 

A letter from heaven, inviting them to a summer solstice matchmaking festival. If heaven actually acknowledged their existence, that meant his hard work trying to legitamize Eto had not gone to waste, and his heart swelled with pride for his goddess for half a second. 

Then he heard another shout of “Kaneko-chan!” and his heart instantly wilted and died. 

That was the gist of it, playing before him as he stared into the mirror at his own white haired reflection as he remembered what string of fate had pulled him into this situation. 

“Don’t start day dreaming and mess up my hair, Kaneki Ken,” Eto’s voice pulled him back into reality. 

Kaneki bunched up a bundle of her green hair and let his fingers run through it for a second before focusing, “If I were to give you a messy cut it would probably suit your personality more,” he fired back coldly. 

Eto laughed at him, “Even so.” 

When he was finished, he spun her around in her chair. Eto stood up eagerly, brushing a hand through her now short hair and flipping it like she was a bird pruning and showing off her feathers. “Ahh, I’m glad I decided to have it cut, feels wonderful to have it done right before an event. Hey, hey, how’s it look?” 

Kaneki was surprised she turned first to him and not the mirror, because of this his response was off the cut and not too thought out, “I tried to pick a cut that would suit my lady.” 

“Ho, ho, ho! Do I look like a go getter god?” 

“Yes, very.” 

“Hahaha! How wonderful.” 

Eto was glowing and smiling for once, Kaneki even managed to convince her to wear a more formal robes instead of the bandages and that ratty sweater she wore everywhere. It was a nice moment. Which Eto proceeded to ruin. 

“By the way, where did you learn to cut hair?” 

“When you asked me to, I read several books on the topic.” 

Eto smirked enough to just show her teeth, “Of course you’d say that, you nerd.” 

“I am not. 

“You totally are, it’s in your name. Ka-Nerd-Ki!” She chimed rhythmically, three separate notes that made Kaneki cringe more each time in succession. 

“Maybe you should find somebody cooler to escort you then,” He said trying to leave. Eto caught him by the long black sleeve he wore though, and urged him to stay. He had another retort planned, but he swallowed it when he saw the detail of seriousness on her face. He instead listened with quiet eyes. 

“You have to keep watch over me anyway to make sure I fulfill my promise don’t you? If that’s the case, you may as well come.” 

Kaneki decided to shut his eyes, and resign himself to whatever was coming next. An expression that made Eto giggle with glee. 

Once they reached the party, Kaneki found the farthest corner he could and hid away. He pinched a wine glass between his finger tips and spun it around, while crossing his legs, eyes downcast at the floor. Before he could enjoy his peace though, Hide ambushed him. 

“Ehhh? Drinking alone? Don’t tell me you have social anxiety.” 

“Well, I don’t know anybody here, and the people I do know are all getting mobbed,” Kaneki said resigned as he leaned back in his chair, the bags under his eyes looking thicker than usual. 

“Hey, hey, that’s not true. That guy over there yamato-no-orochi kind of looks like Nishiki, right?” Hide said with a mouth full of grapes from the plate of food he had brought over, “Oh, but he’s all over some girl. Gosh, do people have any sense of PDA, Get a room!” Hide shouted, which earned him a bespectacled glare. 

Either Hide’s presence was easing Kaneki’s tension, or making it worse, he couldn’t tell at this point, but he still plucked some of the food from his tray. “I think moses parting the red sea over there must be noro,” He said crushing a grape between his teeth as he heard sounds of distress and terror from afar akin to ‘waaah the god of curses and misfortune is here’. 

Eto seemed equally out of her depth in the crowd, but she reacted to it in a complete opposite way then Kaneki did. “Damnit! Kaneki where are you? You’re my wingman!” 

“What a pest,” Kaneki muttered. 

“A bit yeah. Oy, watch out dude,” He said pointing to the centipede tail that was beginning to emerge from Kaneki’s back. Kaneki flicked his newly formed antenna in confusion. 

“Oh-oh,” Kaneki voiced, feeling like he had wandered into the matchmaking festival in his energy boxers, “This happens whenever I get too excited.” He pulled his black coat back on to cover himself, slicking his antannae back as they disappeared once again. 

“What was it seeing Eto?” Hide leaned in further to Kaneki, sly smirk hidden partway by the hand over his mouth. 

Kaneki moved his face back slightly from Hide’s sudden closeness, “No, it’s this,” He picked up a piece of lettuce from Hide’s plate and began to nibble on it, “I’ve been alone with Eto for so long I haven’t eaten fresh food in a while. I feel like Gregor Samsa, moldy cheese and stale bread has become tasty to me in comparison.” 

“What are you a rabbit?” Hde scoffed, as he leaned back in the chair next to Kaneki. He stretched by crossing his arms behind his head, “You know Kaneki, there’s a phrase, bonded by mutual trauma or something.” 

“Huh?” 

“Well for example, there are plenty of other gods in this room. Why don’t you ask any of them for help?” He pointed to the crowd, and Kaneki shirked further away from them. 

“I just don’t like crowds,” Kaneki muttered. 

“I can tell, the only person you’ve been watching in this crowd the entire time was Eto!” 

He leaned forward, and covered his mouth by folding both of his hands touching his chin with his thumb, “You know, I thought I was in the hospital a day at first, but when I got back to my apartment they kicked me out, and when I called my college I was considered dropped out. I had been unconscious in the hospital for at least a month, and the only person who came to visit me once was Eto.” Chin-touch became more prominent, “I don’t think I ever had a friend in my life besides her.” 

“Like I said, bonded by trauma,” Hide scratched his face at the cheek, “Hey what kind of god do you think Eto is anyway?” 

“She says her name means beloved by all, and she’s strong like a war god, so maybe a god of love and revolution?” He closed his hands back in his lap, “Don’t tell her I said that, it would go straight to her head.” 

“Your secret’s safe with me friend,” He gave a salute, then Kaneki could tell Hide wanted to continue their serious conversation because he pinched the breach of his nose. 

“Why are you asking so many questions anyway?” He said side eyeing Hide. 

“It’s just in my nature to be curious, you know Kaneki, when Shinki are made they forget all of the memories from their past lives. Even though they can act with a full fledged personality from the moment they’re forged, that kind of stuff confuses me. Then when I heard stuff like ‘the god’s greatest secret’, well,” Hide leaned in again but this time it wasn’t to tease Kaneki, “My curiosity is unsatisfied.” 

Kaneki leaned away again, thinking his life would be much easier if Eto and Hide did not both insist on being so cryptic all the time. His eyes searched out and found Eto instantly in the crowd again, she looked to be causing trouble between two handsome and bulky men. Eto… probably had secrets. Lots of them. He didn’t necessarily need to know about them to understand her. Kaneki did understand what Hide was implying though, he knew at least he was the type to stick around as long as he was needed. Eto mde a show of making herself as needy as physically possible. 

Enough, those kinds of thoughts would be worrisome if they were lovers or something. They weren’t connected by the red string of fate though. More like the black string, one guaranteed to bind them and pull them deep down into the abyss together. Kaneki’s train of thought physically worsened as he saw Eto start to make more and more trouble, and felt the bags under his eyes grow heavier. 

“Et-” He stood up and started to say, but he was interrupted. 

“Eto!” A child broke out of the crowd and ran to Eto, with their long sleeves in the air. 

“Oh, hey if it isn’t Shiono! Are you sure it’s okay for a god of the arts to come here?” She said, lifting him into the air immediately. She was smiling genuinely, for once. 

The reason this god Shiono took the form of a child was because he had died previously in Eto’s arms and reincarnated that way. Gods as long as they had a strong enough following could continue to reincarnate. That was from another time Kaneki had neglected to mention in his own recap, because he was mostly trying to forget about it. It involved him having to travel to the pits of hell and meet a god named Izanami who was supposed to take the form of whoever looked most inviting to you, but all he saw was Eto’s face. 

“Hey, isn’t this Shiono! Well, didn't you get all cute looking!” A female voice sounded as she plucked Shiono from Eto’s arms. She had blonde hair whose part covered one eye, which meant that was Narukami the thunder regalia, which meant the man in white standing behind her was none other than the shinigami who had been nicknamed ‘Arima’. Which meant the other man Eto had been arguing with was Furuta, the god who had ordered Shiono’s death, and the god who had carried out Shiono’s death Arima were now both right next to her. 

Kaneki stood up immediately and went to intervene, wondering how long Eto could last. It would have been so much easier if she just picked another fight with her longtime rival bishamonten (though everybody called him Amon), rather than these two scary high ranking members of heaven. 

“It’s a shame about your previous incarnation, but he was cooperating with someone who put heaven into disarray after all,” Arima said a she awkwardly poked the cheek of the infant Shiono. “But it was all your-” 

Before he could finish, Kaneki grabbed Eto by the shoulders and used his height advantage (she only came up to his shoulders) to start dragging her. “Hey Eto, they’ve already started the matchmaking. You don’t want them to finish without you, do you?” He said, appealing to her vanity. He sat her down on the ground next to a stack of wooden plaques with strings running in between them. “You just tie those wooden plaques together see, even you can do something like that.” 

“You could try to have a little more faith in me,” Eto scoffed, but she patted the space next to her for Kaneki to join her, and began picking up up stringings, and eyeing them capriciously. Kaneki decided to relax and join her, looking to see if any members of the cafe were present in the pile. 

“I wonder if Touka and her girlfriend are getting along okay,” Kaneki said, becoming lost in thought. 

For a moment it seemed like things might actually calm down. Then Hide came out of nowhere once agian and tackled Kaneki’s back into a hug. “Eto! I found you!” 

“Then why was Kaneki the one you hugged?” She said, looking back at him eyes sharp met with only a shrug, “I see, either help with the matchmaking or wait until I need you, clever boy.” 

“Don’t be like that, I even brought Noro.” 

Eto brighened up immediately as she saw her lumbering guardian standing behind them, casting a terrible shadow that made all the other gods sitting near them begin to back away slowly. “Noro definitely can help!” 

“Ah, about that, it’s a no can do. Any bond Noro makes would only end in misfortune.” 

“I see, in that case can you go over there?” 

“Ohh? You sure you want me to do that?” Hide’s eyes grew equally sharp. If Kaneki were not absorbed in trying to look for Touka’s tile, he might have acknowledged the chill down his spine he felt whenever those two decided to try matching wits. “I might end up picking Kaneki’s soul mate,” and he definitely would have reacted to that. 

Eto’s expression froze. She scrambled and began to dive into the tiles recklessly. 

“Oh, is this Touka. Her panel is connected to Yoriko Koasaka! Amazing, her girlfriend is her soul mate!” 

“So what about yours?” Hide said, settling into the spot next to Kaneki while Eto still frantically searched. 

“I don’t really need to see mine,” Kaneki blushed for about the first time since a year ago, when he was talking to the nice girl in glasses about Takatsuki Sen. He’d become a lot more hardened since then, but Hide enjoyed these few times when his shell cracked. 

“Kaneki Ken!” Eto said triumphantly as she emerged from the pile with a plaque, but when she tugged on it to see the string was already binded, her expression froze a second time. “Oh,” She said, voice empty, “it’s already been tied.” 

Hide felt his form disappear as a voice called out, “Hide!” The red string of fate which had promised Kaneki new love, suddenly cut in two, and Eto stood frozen finishing the arc of her string. Kaneki watched his plaque go flying in slow motion with an expression of shock. Noro watched too but Kaneki could not tell what his reaction was under that mask. 

Maybe Hide was right, about Eto wanting him to stay after all. “My… my dream date to the book store.” Kaneki muttered in shock. 

“Is that really what a god of love should do!” Hide shouted even in his sword form. 

“God’s will is law.” 

“That’s not an excuse.” 

The string though, that Kaneki continued to stare at all on its own regenerated and connected to a different string. 

Eto turned her head like a monster in a horror movie might be able to, “An-oth-er one?” She hummed out. 

Causing Hide’s voice to arise from the sword once more, “The person on the other end is Kaneki’s soul mate? Do you really think you can changes things so easily?” 

That seemed to get to Eto, as her expression darkened for asecond. Then she casually tossed hide away, causing him to land pierced into the tatami floor, still in sword form. “Fiiine!” Eto said like a child who had been denied her favorite toy, “But I can at least look at who she got paired with?” She followed the string with those keen green eyes of hers, “Just one look.” 

The turned over tile read ‘Rize Kamishiro, serial killer who targets men’. It showed a picture of a cute girl in glasses wiping blood out of her mouth. 

“Out!” Eto severed the string in one stroke. 

Kaneki, who had been looking away in emarrassment, guffawed at the scene Eto was no causing, “Again! Hide, you have to stop her.” 

“I support my master’s right to choose,” the blade Hide said, as it sparkled. 

“Oho? You hooked up with another one? You sure like taking a hit, Kaneki Ken!” She said as she lifted the retied string again. 

The next tile read ‘Tsukiyama Shuu, sugar daddy who will buy you books.’ 

“All right, out!” 

The next tile read, ‘Roma Hoito, I’m in a cult.’ 

“Out! Out!” 

The next tile read, ‘Rize Kamishiro’. 

“This guy again! You’re a tenacious one, Rize!” 

Eto grabbed all three tiles and shoved them straight into Kaneki’s face. “This boy has zero taste!” 

“What?” Kaneki said flatly. 

Hide returned to human form for a moment and pondered, scratching his cheek again while an argument raged in the background. 

“So you like book loving serial killer cultists with no home and no job? You want your mother to be crying for you in heaven!” Eto shouted. 

“No, I have no interest in those kinds of worthless people. And don’t bring my mother into this.” 

To Hide, the line up seemed very familiar. “Talk about no self awareness,” he said with glib resignation. 

Eto sighed. “That’s enough of this, I’ll go find you someone more suitable,” She softly placed Kaneki’s own plaque in his hands, and sent to go searching through the piles again, this time much less excited than before. 

Kaneki watched her, that’s why he didn’t notice Hide snatch the plaque out of his hands. “You really haven’t found your soul mate huh?” He said, rubbing it in. 

“Hide!” 

“I’m sure you’re loving all the attention though, Mr. Crowd shy.” 

Kaneki looked away. 

“You want to go check out Eto’s plaque for revenge?” He said, holding Kaneki’s plaque close to his own playful lips. 

“Gods have plaques too?” 

“Yep, yep, over here!” 

He directed Kaneki forward with his usual energy. Noro followed behind them. The gods plaques were hung up on wooden rakcks as opposed to lying in ples on the floor. Kaneki could see that Amon was ridiculously popular with several strings tied to his already. 

When he looked for Eto’s face though, he couldn’t see a single string tied to hers. All alone, he thought as he held the plaque in his thumbs. “Wait, is this a publicity photo?” 

While Kaneki was momentarily distracted, he found the plaque snatched from his hands by none other than Noro. Who tied a knot between his and Eto’s plaques. Kaneki his and Eto’s faces overlaid and in the background the big smile on Noro’s mask, and felt an oncoming sense of dread. 

“Noro! What are you doing with Kaneki’s plaque?” Eto shouted from across the room. 

And there was dread, coming right on schedule. Speak of the devil and in she walks, as they say. 

Kaneki immediately moved in Eto’s path to cover up what Noro had done. Not because he thought it meant anything of course, but to stop Eto from getting smug about it. It seemed though, that Noro’s curses were faster than anybody anticipated, as all of Eto’s rearranging of the piles left a lot of stray strings in her path which were very easy to trip over. 

Which she did. 

As she flew through the air, Kaneki moved to catch her. 

Which he did. With his face. More specifically his lips. 

Their bodies fell on the ground together, Eto's on top of his and he felt a sudden uncontrollable warmth as Eto's clumsily bumped against his in an attempt to right herself. At least she was doing something though, he just laid their dumb struck as their lips stood interlocked but neither of them made a move to kiss. Like they were teenage virgins who had gotten their braces stuck together in their first attempted kiss. Though, Kaneki was still that kind of person o the inside. He had never been on a date but a girl did lick his eyeball once. 

Choose, a voice in the back of his head screamed. He had to break the kiss. Well, that wasn't his only option. He could advance it. Even though Eto was beautiful despite her terrible taste in wardrobe, kissing her was unlike something Kaneki had ever imagined. It was terrible. She did nothing, her lips were cracked and dry because she never listened to him about licking them, and the way she breathed out of her nose tickled her upper lip. He thought kisses were something you were supposed to melt into, like how they were described in the novels he read, but this was like kissing a dead person. 

Yet.  
He couldn't bring himself to stop.  


When he reached 580 on his countdown from sevens in his head though, he defaulted to breaking the kiss when he could no longer breathe. Kaneki ripped his head away and threw it back gasping for breath. 

When their accidental kiss finished, Kaneki saw something in Eto’s eyes he had never seen before as they stared down at him. Happiness? Though, it looked more like vulnerability than anything else. 

“Oh,” was all she managed to say. No theatrical laughter, no teasing him on whether or not this was his first kiss. Just, oh. 

Kaneki’s expression flattened, and his eyes rolled to the side leading her to look at Noro. “You should probably cut my plaque before it causes anymore trouble.” 

Eto said nothing in response. She tried to stand up, but found herself caught. Kaneki’s centipede tail had emerged, and wrapped around Eto’s tiny waist. No he wasn’t excited, that wasn’t what was happening. Kaneki prayed that Eto wouldn’t see who his plaque ended up getting tied to. 

Thankfully, divine intervention came. 

“Oh, what is this? Pda? Pda?” Furuta said, bouncing the pads of his finger tips across one another. 

Arima’s cold eyes focused on a different aspect though, “That tail. Have you snuck an Ayakashi in here after all, Eto?” 

Or, not so thankfully. 

“Hey, Eto, we need to go,” he said bumping her shoulder, trying to break her out of her quiet stupor. 

“My head’s going all crazy… The planted tree.. Apples… the planted tree is bearing fruit.” 

“Eto?” 

“On-on the beach’s stomach in the city.” 

“Eto.” 

“Tension boogie woogie,” Eto finished, and collapsed resting her head onto Kaneki’s chest. She giggled into it softly. 

Well, Eto had completely lost her mind and they were about to die. As far as situations Eto had gotten them into, this was far from the worst. Somewhere in the middle really. He groaned as he waited for whatever misfortune would strike him next. 

Well, whatever it was, it couldn’t be that bad as long as he didn’t face it alone. 


	2. Unkeepable Promises

Eto rolled off of Kaneki, standing up still wobbly. She met Arima’s cold gaze and held her own. “Ahh, about this Ayakashi,” She said, and for a moment Kaneki believed that they could rely on Eto’s always sharp and precise words that cut even defter than her sword to get them out of this situation. “I have no idea, but it’s your problem now!”

Eto said as she picked up that very same sword and fled. 

Kaneki was disappointed. 

He sighed, and stood up on his feet. Wondering, just how much faith he had in Eto, that he still didn’t feel like he was abandoned quite yet. He breathed deep and let the Ayakashi transformation take its full course rather than holding back. Was he to be a sacrificial pawn? A distraction? For some reason he didn’t mind that much either.

In the back of the room though, a young regalia with a hair that stuck out of the tip of his head like a feather instinctively backed up. “Houji, that monster looks like the same kind of monster that showed up in the…”

“The Chi She Lian massacre I know,” His boss, an older god with his hair slicked back did not hesitate. He put a hand on the shoulder of his Shinki, “It’s best we leave this to the reaper though, if we get involved it could turn out like last time.”

Yes, last time. 

Houji assumed all those matters were buried, which is why he did not act in this moment. However, at the time Eto arrived after fleeing in the confusion, to a place where several steel boxes had been buried in the dirt. She first slid her sword between the edges of one of the boxes, and the dirt which it was buried, trying to pry it out like she was working with a crowbar. Until she heard Hideyoshi’s audible complaints resonate in her even in sword form, and snapped her fingers to let him take human form again.

“It’s like, a puzzle box right?” Hide said, crossing his arms behind his head a suggestion that did not help at all except to relieve tension.

Eto was on her knees now and removed the steel box from the earth with her fingers, she sat back and rested the box on her knees. “There’s an old spell on this box, I’d heard he’d been sealed for a long time but for thousands of years? How cruel, having your fate suspended like that, the ‘hanged man’s macguffin.”

“Hanged man of muffin?” Hide repeated back. 

Eto chuckled, “Muffins, indeed.” She finished the puzzle and hesitated before the last turn, “Though, I may be the same.” She did not hesitate with this admission, opening the box and watching as a lone red eye emerged from the cracks, and a pale white hand of a ghost reached and gripped the entirety of her face. 

She was thrown backwards, and rather than defend his master Hideyoshi just watched. Back against the cave wall, Eto turned her head back and laughed at the injury she had been dealt. “That’s no way to treat somebody whose here to save you.”

The man who had crawled out of the box took his first breaths of fresh air in a thousand years. His teeth were fanged and his mouth twisted beyond all recognition, when he saw the other regalia backing away from him, he reached from within his coat and pulled out a red mask which he slid on to cover his mouth. When he exhaled though, a black smoke like runoff from coal left his mask and started to fill the air. His body was still a little bit twisted, so he righted himself and in his white cloak he stood taller than both individuals present. 

“Save me?” He looked down on his fingertips, “Where’s fae? Where’s the others? You, give everyone back to me.”

Without changing into a weapon, without casting spells, he ran to attack Eto in a mad dash. His attacks were slow and large though, so Eto’s small nimble body could dart away from them. 

“There’s nothing to be done about that, you can only pay them back for every life.” She sidestepped and tripped him with the bandages she constantly kept around her body pulling his ankle up in the air. She left him no room to recover, and was immediately on top of him, somehow pinning him down even with her tiny body as she held one hand on his neck. “

“You can’t even draw a single spell, so they took your name,” Eto dipped her opposite two fingers in the blood running from her forehead and began to draw in the air, “I will give you one.”

The man stared at her with both red eyes, and Eto concluded that was the strongest part about him. He had an unshakable gaze that had survived seeing the worst cruelties the gods had to offer. “If you’re going to use me then, I’d rather you let me die right now.”

“I can’t allow that, the truth is I need you,” Eto leaned closer to whisper in his ears, “and in return. I’ll give you heaven’s head on a silver platter”

She sat up on him and offered him her most genuine smile, but from her it still looked sinister, “So you can die if you want, but you’ll be dying for my sake. The head of your enemy, and a way to die that’s not shoved back into that pathetic box, doesn’t that sound like a good deal I’m offering you?”

Tatara did not say a word, but those harsh eyes of his softened.

“Well, if you don’t like it you’re always free to overpower me. Until then, My name is Yoshimura Eto.” She stood up, and began to carve into the air a symbol, “Here, relinquish thy name in death, and become my servant bearing the name I estow. Thy name, its reading, thy vessel it’s sound, by my decree you become my regalia. THey name is Tatara, thy vessel, tatarachi. Come.”

Tatara was unlike any Regalia ever before though, he gave her not only a weapon but a change in outfit complete with an owl-like mask whose beak fell over her nose. She lifted it up to look at Hideyoshi once more, “What an excellent weapon, but, is it a bit on the sinister side?” She said as she held the white cape that had surrounded her shoulders between her fingers. 

Hideyoshi gave her a thumbs up, “Dont worry if you were a villain I’m sure you’d be one of those hammy ones that always shows up in shonen manga who get a lot of fans regardless of how wicked they are!”

“That’s not really comforting,” Eto sighed. She looked to where she saw Tatara investigating his new form within their own shared consciousness. In his memories, there was just, a world dyed crimson. “You’re right though, I highly doubt that he would have approved of this methodology.”

Forgive me Kaneki. 

She thought, which was a lot of forgiveness to ask for. 

The next moment she was in front of Kaneki, jumping into the fray against his monstrous half ayakashi form. The one that had been able to keep the goddess of the underworld at bay for a few minutes. 

She mouthed something to him, which he only just barely caught with his left eye. 

The next moment she had stabbed him straight through with Hide, pinning him to a wall effectively. 

Forgive me, indeed. 

“Arima would have dodged that hit, my dear,” She teased him with, which was the last thing Kaneki heard before his consciousness blackened even further. 

As she pulled her sword out from him, and cleaned the blade by splashing his blood across the ground, Arima looked on in displeasure. 

He held Narukami between his hands, whose name was Hikari when she was in the form of a spirit. “You missed yet another chance to become a regalia,” was all he had to say now that the matter was settled. 

A half ayakashi though that could hide in the form of a human, how interesting though. Slaughtering Ayakashi all day, his blood as a reaper had grown quite dull. 

Several hours later, Eto and Hide sat next to each other in the store of Noro’s that they called home, Kaneki lying on the bed behind him. After a long silence, Hide leaned over and poked at Kaneki’s sleeping face, “Don’t you think it’s time to stop playing dead.”

“Oi, only a weasel like you would think to play dead, Kaneki’s making a tactical retreat inside his own mind.” 

“Isn’t it possums that play dead?”

“Oi, I don’t care what animal it is.”

“I can tell your mad, you keep saying oi,” He said, keeping a light hearted expression on. 

“Enough squabbling,” The house’s new resident, having exchnaged his white cloak for a tank top said as he crossed his arms. 

“If you’re feeling lonely your free to join in if you want, tatara!” Eto said, offering hm a friendly smile. She could not read the expression he gave her back with that mask on, but context clues told her it wasn’t a pleasant one. 

Hide, who had been not looking at her for quite some time finally turned to Eto. She already had a remark prepared for him, but the sharpness of his eyes quieted her. “What if he’s not pretending to be this way?”

“Oi, don’t talk like that, Kaneki clearly heard me say ‘play dead for a little while.’ Right before I pretended to cut him.”

“Again with the ois,” Hide said. He was scratching the roots of his hair by this point, trying to find a way to sound non-confrontational, but there really was no way to avoid that. “I was just wondering, if Kaneki’s condition has progressed this far, would it be because of the god’s greatest secret?”

“H-how am I supposed to know, if it’s called a secret after all,” Eto was uncharacteristically caught off guard, and Hide figured it was because they were discussing right next to her weak point. Love, and affection was a weakness, that was the kind of thing that villains said in manga to prove how strong they were. It was mostly bullshit. For Eto though, it seemed like it was bullshit that just happened to be true.

“Eto,” A cold voice called out, and it looked like Tatara had decided to join them after all, “You have me now, even if you have to strike him down I’ll just replace him.”

Eto’s eyes hardened as she looked down, “Spirits are temperamental, negative emotions cling to them and corrupt them. That’s why Shinki are removed of their memories, and as payment for their services the gods bear that burden instead.” She held her hand out into the air and spread her fingers, the spiritual pressure around her hardened into several strings that she plucked like they were on a guitar. She searched through them until she found the ones that were tied to Kaneki’s heart. “You two must have met in a previous life, that explains how no matter what the odds you always seem to keep meeting.”

She felt a prick on her neck. The normally calm Hide, finally blighted her at the revelation of what she had been hiding from him. She felt feathers sprout down her arm, and her fleshy fingers curve into talons. She reacted with dull surprise rather than horror, “Oya?”

“Damn I let my real emotions show through, that’s not cool at all,” Hide said, looking away. 

“As I was saying, memories poison souls. Even though I tried to remove the memories before they could poison Kaneki’s heart, it seems the emptiness left has let him be overtaken by his ayakashi side anyway or…” Eto trailed off, weakness indeed, “It was probably my presence that pushed him further and further down into depravity. It seems you can’t fix a broken heart with lies after all, shame that’s all I have to give.”

Eto had followed the string that led from Kaneki’s heart all the way up until her own heart. “If Kaneki’s being led astray then, the fix is simple. All you have to do is remove the god of depravity.” 

“Hideyoshi!”

She called, and then in one stroke the bond between her and Kaneki was severed. Kaneki’s form which had mutated to even covering his legs and arms in exo-skeleton like appendages, slowly reverted back to his human form. Eto felt her own hand too, return to its fleshy self, though honestly she preferred the owl claw. 

“You didn’t have to go that far,” A voice said in the back of her mind. That was the key difference between her and Hide, he was clever, ruthless at times, but he was still a nice guy underneath it all. A pity, really. 

“If he lost to Arima he’s of no more use to me anyway,” Eto said without looking at Kaneki. Eto smiled and buzzed around with confidence, “You can stay too! Now that I have Tatara, he’s a way cooler regalia than you and they say three’s a crowd.”

“No thanks!” Hide said, jumping back into his human form. He was scratching the bridge of his nose gesturing almost as much as Eto as he said this, “If Kaneki knew I was just a ghost following him around he’s probably say something like uwee~ stalker. Or, who you gonna call?” 

“Ah, yeah, I get it.” Eto said, turning down on her antics and turning away from him. She left the room without a word, causing even Hide whose only priority had always been Kaneki to feel a little bit sorry for her.

He felt like raising a hand to reach out for her, but Kaneki beat him to the punch even unconscious like he was. Hide looked down on his friend, and cupped his hand with both of his, putting it gently back down on the bed. 

Several hours later Kaneki woke up in a room he did not recognize. For some reason he was surprised when he looked down, and found nothing but a normal human body under his line of sight. Did he think he was Gregor Samsa or something?

Kaneki went through his exact same morning routine, as he would have a year ago. His body’s msucle memory carrying him in places where his memory failed, making the absence of a year’s worth of memories unnoticeable. He thought about going to the cafe again, and asking the pretty girl who talked about Takatsuki Sen novels whether r not they wanted to go to the bookstore with him.

A dream date to the bookstore. 

A dream. 

When a person woke up, they often had a feeling of forgetfulness. As the last traces of the dream from last night disappeared from their consciousness. Kaneki experienced this now, as a sharp pain from the back of his eye, it caused him to stumble, and step one step exactly to the left. Which caused him to step on a piece of clothing, he would normally avoid and slip.

Kaneki sat up again, rubbing the back of his head and picked up the offending clothing. It was a purple sweater. “Eto, I told you to put these in the hamper,” He said without thinking.

The words caught him immediately and he covered his mouth. Then, slowly let his fingers come apart as he whispered, “Eto,” into them a second time. 

A name he didn’t remember at all, but one that sounded so sweet to say.

“Eto, eto, eto, eto, eto, e-who am I talking about again?” he said her name so he wouldn’t forget. Then sudddenly his nose tickled. He scrunched it up, and leaned forward into the sweatshirt taking in the scent. For such a sweat drenched object, her scent was surprisingly sweet. 

Kaneki fell backwards, throwing the sweatshirt aside. “I must really seem like a stalker right now,” he said drily, to nobody in particular. 

Kaneki pulled his phone out and sat back up.

‘One contact deleted’ the screen read as soon as he thumbed past his lock screen. He tried to check the messages but the notification ‘666 unread messages deleted.’ He was about to give up, when he noticed the background. 

“Eto stop replacing my background with selfies,” He said suddenly in complaint about the green haired girl who was now occupying his homescreen background, though he did not know why he found such a beautiful young woman smiling to be so annoying. 

There it was that name again, but as soon as he said it, the word escaped him. He tried to grasp it again, lips moving, like he was choking, struggling with it, but no words came out. Kaneki pulled his blue hoodie on and raced outside before the last of his memories could disappear. 

“Have you seen this girl?” Kaneki asked the first passerby.

“Wow, you really didn’t take the breakup well did you?”

“Have you seen this girl.”

“Some guys don’t know when to back off.”

After hours of running around town and asking, Kaneki finally stopped in the alleyway next to the bookstore where this had all started. One year ago, he did something, to somebody, and then some events followed as a result of that. He was sure. Or maybe not.

Kaneki’s head sunk into his knees. Maybe he should just give up and forget after all if it was making his head hurt this much anyway. Something like fate, yeah, was compelling him to. His eyes grew heavy. 

When he closed them though, all he could see, as if painted on the inside of his eyelids was the same faceless memory of that green haired girl. 

“Kaneki if I rub this pot three times a day and say ‘happy happy cool cool’ we’ll be rich. The future is looking happy happy cool cool!”

“Don’t waste my money like that!”

Kaneki snapped, as he surged up with the energy. The moment he did though, he had forgotten why he was so upset. Why was he standing in an alleyway next to a bookstore? Right, he must have wanted to get a new book, and maybe meet a new girl as was his dream scenario.

Kaneki blinked and realized he had unconsciously reached out for something. Weird. He walked out and into the book store. When he finally found a book of his liking, a reprinted Osamu Dazai, he found his hand reach up and bump slightly against somebody who reached at the same time. 

“I’m sorry,” Kaneki said reflexively, but when he looked down he saw the woman he was competing with for the book had jumped to reach the top shelf. “Here,” he said offering it to her.

“Ohoho, I guess I’m not quick enough to beat your kindness,” She said and read the title of the book through her glasses. She looked up at him then, green eyes shining through her glasses, the exact same color as her green hair.

Kaneki thought, I must have met somebody this beautiful in a dream once, and because he was still stuck in that dream like state he said, “I’ll give you the book if you go on a date with me.”

Ah!

He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“Oh?” Fortunately for him she looked more intrigued than creeped out as she fiddled with her glasses. “I think I might need to know your name first.”

“M-my name,” Kaneki’s mind was already racing as to what kind of situation he had gotten himself into. He looked at a passerby walking down the same aisle who was carrying a coffee cup in one hand and an atlus in the other, “Coffee world.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean Haise! My name is Haise Sasaki.” He had no idea why he was making up a new name on the spot, perhaps because of how weird his situation was already. He was not so much asking this girl on a date but drawing her into his own mystery. 

She smiled at him, in a way that shook him to the core. “Oh, what a lovely name then. Tell me is your hair natural?”

Kaneki pulled at one of the hairs in front of his face to check its color. He had white hair was there a reason for that? The more he reached back in his memories of the past year, the more he found they were more or less in tact with one common thread missing, a blank face, a silhouette with long hair and a nasty smile that spelled trouble for all who saw it. “No, it’s not natural,” Kaneki finally blurted out. 

“Do you remember how-”

“I don’t!” Kaneki said, his voice cracking, he took a breath and lowered it an octave to sound calmer, “I don’t remember much, actually. That’s what I wanted to ask you about, is there a reason you’re my phone background.”

He flicked his lock screen open and offered his phone to her. The girl looked back at a picture of her own face. “That’s definitely me, but I don’t remember taking it either. What an interesting puzzle.” Without asking she snatched the phone from his hand and began to explore it’s contents, “Are you sure you weren’t the one who took this photo though?” 

Kaneki paused, beginning to think as usual he had said the wrong thing. “...Why?”

“Because there are over two hundred pictures of me on this phone.”

E-- don’t use up all my phone memory like that. 

The memory played in his head automatically again, but Kaneki was too preoccupied to think too deeply on it at the moment. He recoiled and grabbed his head, wishing desperately there was something other than books surrounding them to hide behind, “You must think I’m some kind of stalker!

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, I do attract some weird fans.”

Kaneki did not process her words so much, or else he would have put two and two together a bit earlier. He was busy running his hands through his hair trying to come up with a reasonable way to phrase the trainwreck of emotions and anxieties currently continuing to pile up, “I think I mistook you for the girl in the photo. The girl being the one I’m looking for, she’s someone important to me but I can’t remember her at all. I saw you, and you smelled great, and I just spoke without thinking. Sorry, excuse me.”

“You think I smell great?”

“I’m going to prison for stalking,” Kaneki said, his head falling down. 

Kaneki heard a giggle though, “This is probably against my better judgement, but you’ve intrigued me a little bit. As an author I’m always looking out for material, so I’ll hear you out, in exchange I hope you don’t mind if I consider all of this research.”

“I don’t mind,” Kaneki said, washed over with relief, and then, “Wait, you’re an author?”

“Oh, I forgot. Silly me,” She said rapping her head with her knuckles, “Takatsuki Sen, a pleasure to meet you.”

“T-t-ta-ta-takatsuki.”

Kaneki cleared his throat, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you.”

Then Kaneki took Takatsuki all over town, trying to explain as best as he could the events he had experienced in his memories of the past year. 

The cat named Maris Stella who had escaped once again, who was the reason for their first meeting, and that person losing their attention enough to nearly get hit by a truck.

The grass field near the river where a frog had eaten Kaneki, and he discovered his ability to fight the ayakashi for the first time. All of which would have been unnecessary if she had just swallowed her pride and picked any regalia that was lying around. 

The temple steps where Kaneki fought and ran for his life from a great eyeball monster, that she finished in one hit because she finally decided to pick a regalia. 

The forest where they fought Amon, until Noro finally found them and interfered by opening a giant vent of Ayakashi which Kaneki was thrown about into the air and tossed almost to Oz when he exited. 

The alleyway outside Kaneki’s apartment building where he had fallen to his knees and begged her to take him in after being evicted, when he had earlier rejected the idea of ever working under her. 

That’s right that night they-

They-

He couldn’t remember. 

“What a coicidence, I live in the same building,” Takatsuki said, and then one thing led to another and in some amazing coincidence of fate that Kaneki was just enjoying the ride up, he somehow was served tea in Takatsuki’s own apartment. 

“You know I’ve noticed two recurring element in your stories, one, that you seem to be the victim of some terrible fate in most of them-”

Kaneki’s head sunk.

“And also, I don’t see how any of those stories you told me were possible at all, they’re a bit on the fantastical side.”

Kaneki froze. Both of those things were true. He was probably better off forgetting for the sake of his sanity. His body seemed to move on his own though, despite his internal protests as he picked up a napkin from the table and tied it around his neck. 

“The reason all of that is possible is because-”

Don’t. 

“I’m a god!”

“Oh?” Was all Takatsuki could say, which was a more reasonable response than most would give to that statement. 

“The great etogami eto! The name means a god whose destined to be loved by all,” He said striking a pose as he sat up from the table. 

“I’ve never heard of that god before.”

Stop this.

“Well just you watch, soon I’m going to be the top god. I’ll have hundreds of thousands of followers. I’ll lament, ah, having all your dreams come true is just so unsatisfying, and then my many followers will rush to comfort me.”

Kaneki fell back to his seat, feeling like that brief bit of imitation had taken everything out of him. “At least I think, that’s what she would have said in this situation. I know she probably brought, a lot of bad luck into my life but somehow when she was around I always thought she was-”

He did not finish that thought, because at that moment he saw another girl who was Takatsuki Sen’s exact spitting image, break in through the window behind them, and then start to steal from the refrigerator as if nobody could see her.

“Eto! What did I tell you about stealing!” Kaneki stood up and snapped.

“Hey, this time I’m not stealing! This is my own food,” Eto immediately turned to argue with him without thinking of the consequences, or what he was doing there, or how he had found her there.

Kaneki looked to Eto, and then back to Takatsuki who had become similiarly frozen, then back to Eto. After searching all day he thought he had found the truth. “You’re Takatsuki Sen’s evil twin!”

“Wait, why am I the evil twin?” Eto said, as she began to pout. She snapped her fingers, and then disappeared immediately, but Takatsuki Sen who had been frozen lifted her head, one of her green eyes turning red as she blinked. “But if you must know, this is my body. Sometimes when I’m away from it for long periods of time, it acts like Peter Pan’s shadow and begins walking on its own.”

“If you have a body that means you’re-”

“Half human yes,” She smiled, “And the only reason I’m telling you this is because I’m going to sever the bond a second time and you’ll forget everything you’ve heard for good this time.”

Kaneki stood from his seat and backed away, but Eto’s hand was already on his chest. Even in his half remembered state, he felt deep down there was no way he could let Eto continue. When he felt her tugging on his heart strings (literally), he reached out and grabbed her wrist by instinct alone. “Take a hint will you,” he said, his voice returning to the composed monotone it usually was around Eto. 

“Huh?” Eto looked up at him, eyes swelling, as the confusion had broken her resolve for the moment. 

“I mean if I went half out of my mind running all over town looking for you, even if I don’t really know who you are right now, do you think I would want to forget again?” He said, finally able to meet her eyes. His grays so dull, and hers the very color of life.

Eto was slow to react, then it came reluctant she shook her head as if her joints were rusted and each movement caused her pain. Kaneki could feel strings tightening around his heart. He could give up, and let this moment become another unpleasant dream and hope the life he woke up into would be a happy one.

“I don’t know if I can trust you-” Eto finally said, “I’m going to war against the heavens and all I need are numbers who can fight by my side without being a liability, if you were to return to what you were, it wouldn’t be the same even now and-”

“Stop talking and trust this,” Kaneki pulled Eto forward by the wrist into a kiss. 

To Kaneki in that moment it was a first, and perhaps only. Thus he gave everything he had, but due to inexperience it just made him clumsy, and desperate seeming. He could feel Eto’s reluctance as her head stayed still and his lips ran against hers, dry and cracked. Eto stared at him wide eyed a look of pure shock, and then.

She didn’t.

Her eyes closed and everything changed.

Kaneki felt like sleeping beauty, his memories came like a spark that shook his entire body, and caused him to stumble backwards, gasping desperately for air again. He caught himself by his heels and straightened his body. 

“Don’t think I’m just going to let you off easy for using me as bait at the matchmaker’s festival,” Kaneki said looking down on her once more.

Eto’s eyes were off in another galaxy though, “Kaneki! I want-want to see a field of flowers.”

“And another thing,” Kaneki approached, bumping their foreheads together so Eto would break free of her delirium and pay attention to him. 

Before he could though Eto’s eyes sharpened and set their sights on him, “The first thing you do after waking up is lecture me, how cold of you.”

“You’re the cold one, why did you want me to forget like that?” Kaneki leveled his eyes at her.

Knowing how infinitely clever Eto was, he expected her to twist the conversation further. Which is why what came next truly caught him off guard.

“It’s because I love you, Kaneki Ken.” With his guard down, Eto easily wrapped her arms around his neck and flung herself at him, kissing him for the second time that day while they stumbled backwards onto Takatsuki Sen’s bed. 

She was kissing him. Why was she kissing him? Could it be because he had kissed her earlier? Probably not.

Kaneki struggled to stay up, and found himself having clawed his way up on top of Eto. His instincts having led him this far, he let them take control as he bit Eto on the soft end of her nape. Her body stretched in reaction, and though they had been wordless up until now, Eto broke the silence as clumsily as she always did. 

“A real cold one, Kaneki, stop teasing me like that,” She said through the heat, and everything else. 

“Why should I stop for someone like you,” He answered back, trying to sound as cold as Eto made him out to be. 

“I’ll stop spending your money. I’ll stop eating your snacks. When we sleep in the same room, I won’t crawl into your bed then kick you out of the same bed and keep all the blankets to my self, anymore.”

Kaneki scoffed, “You don’t mean any of that.”

“You-you’re right but it was worth a shot, nonetheless.”

“Make a promise you can keep,” Kaneki said into the curve of her neck.

“I’ll stay with you until the very end, even if it means we’ll have to die together.”

“That’s equally as unrealistic,” Kaneki said, but the words must have affected him somewhat as he did indeed stop teasing her. 

When Kaneki regained the ability and the want to narrate inside of his own head, he was laying there with his arm wrapped around Eto. He almost missed her long hair, because he wanted to see what she might look like in her current state with her hair spiraling in every direction. He might even play with it between his fingertips, he decided to when her hair got longer again. In his musing to himself, he realized something deep inside of himself. A truth that had finally come to light.

“If you owned an apartment this entire time, why did we have to keep sleeping on the streets early on?”

Eto stirred, and her shoulders curved away from his slightly, “Oh, well you remember that first night. When you said you had nowhere to sleep.”

“And you said just sleep on the floor it will build your strength.”

“And you said that was an unfair challenge because I was using a sleeping bag.” “And you said, fine then come here.”

“And you took a minute to take the hint, and then we both shared the same sleeping bag yeah,” She relaxed back into his chest, “I liked the sensation of that much better than any apartment.”

“Manipulative,” Kaneki said low under his breath. 

“Hey, I said I love you didn’t I? And you didn’t even say it back,” Eto said indulging him in his argument. 

“I love warm beds and having a stable place of living!”


End file.
